vissza >>

INTRODUCTION


We Could Be Happier Better

Once, one of my clients asked his Guardian Angel, "Tell me, dear Guardian Angel, when will I be happy at last?" The answer, "And really, what is it that hinders you from being happy from this moment on?"

While I am writing articles one after the other about the fact that we ourselves shape our fate by how we react to a particular event, to what extent we are accepting, or resistant, I made it conscious in myself that if I write about destructive behaviours continually, then I, too, am creating the negative by inducing guilt in my readers. At the end of every article, I try to say something positive, encouraging, to give good advice, but according to my experiences, many are chewing over what they have read for days.

Of course, my aim is to help others step out of the trap of self-delusion, but now, in this Covid-aggravated period, good advice, happy stories, "only-positive" things are simply needed.

That the sensation of happiness is due to the presence of particular hormones, we learnt, or those born earlier have already read about it, but how this works in everyday life, few know.

There are things, however, which we do instinctively to feel better, for example, we reach for chocolate when our mood is bad, but then there are always certain people who make sure we feel guilty about it, and the ephemeral happiness is in vain if guilt tosses us into the chasm again.

With many of my fellow women, when I become uncertain, I rummage in my bag... which makes many men nervous. Why we do it automatically, I will explain later.

Unfortunately, doctors' power games, with a few honourable exceptions, are about manipulation, power posturing, and not about healing. In my experience, the majority of doctors call you to account, lecture you, make you feel guilty, what is more, they definitely enjoy when they can put somebody to shame.

Of course, doctors are also humans, they have their own private problems, complexes, too, but still, it is not their patients they should take it out on. An unhappy person can diagnose at the most, but cannot help. I experienced it a lot of times that people return home a lot sicker from a doctor's appointment than how they had gone there, because the doctor him-herself, with their own attitude, pull their patients down. It was enough to look at my mom and it was clear at once which doctor she had just been to, the particular doctor's personality was weighing down on her mood. Of course, there was also a doctor from whom, despite the negative diagnosis, she came home happy.

There are very few healers-fortunately, I know such as well-who are kind, who really listen to you, pay attention to you, who always have a piece of good advice which does not need a prescription and is easy to obtain, who encourage or praise you. On most people, when someone listens to them at last, even that has a healing effect, but in this rushing world, there is no time for that, more precisely, there is no patience, no empathy. Would you have thought that this, too, depends on our level of hormones? An unhappy person is deaf to the other's problem. Who are bursting with hormones, give from them willingly.

It is very important what the attitude of the patient's entourage is like towards the patient, it matters a lot regarding the length of their recovery, or whether they will recover at all. With fear, worry, feeling sorry, we stop the production of happiness hormones, and by this, we take away the patient's joy of life, their motivation.

In our days, at least two-thirds of women above 40, struggle with the pain of blood vessels, which manifest mostly as pain in the legs. According to Rüdiger Dahlke, blood vessels are the displays of our happiness. If they are painful, it means not much of it has been given to us. Not a lot of joy has been given to the individual.

If doctors let one know that movement is important because then more happiness hormones are produced, which improves circulation and by this, all our organs will function better, then more and more people would take responsibility for and direction of their body, their health.

If in schools, in addition to biological knowledge, they also spoke about the fact that if we cannot care for ourselves, if we cannot love ourselves, accept ourselves, then we will be diabetic in our old age. If we are constantly criticising ourselves, if we are talking about ourselves derogatively, we stop the production of happiness hormones, and the pancreas starts to underfunction. However, knowing that by moving our body alone, serotonin and dopamine, as well as the level of noradrenaline increase, due to which I will feel happier, what is more, I can have it cheaper than dietary supplements, everyone would take the floor at once, or at least they would be motivated to move. Of course, doctors do not make a profit on this, they are paid according to how many patients they have who keep coming back for medicaments, so what is left is humiliation, making one feel guilty, so that perhaps the patient will have even more problems, their immune system will collapse even more, and so they can be prescribed even more medicaments.

It is very difficult to step out of this circle, but there are ways, only they have to be noticed.

To me, an interested regard fearing for my well-being seeing my crutches when my knee cracked, helped a lot. I could hardly walk, I could not take painkillers because they triggered allergic attacks as a result of which I could not breathe. Many wanted to help me but could not. I saw the compassion in regards because of which I felt even worse. A simple question, "you don't even want to do something about this then?", helped me not to give up, do for myself, fight for my health. He did not take me to account, did not feel sorry for me, simply made me feel that it was important to him that I get better, which made me very happy and this gave me enough motivation to change my life. Those who saw me then and now, know the difference. The question which is left is how to get our bodies to produce more hormones which increase our sense of happiness, so that we will be motivated enough to make changes, to love ourselves enough to believe that we deserve better, that we are worthy of joy, happiness. In the Universe, it is Venus who represents the energies of happiness, beauty, joy, eroticism. We can take up, discharge, circulate this energy with any one of our sensory organs.

On the body, it is the entire surface of the skin, the mouth, the tips of the fingers and the hips, the female sexual organ which belong under this energy. In activity, eating, cuddling, making love, physical expressions of love such as caressing; massage, the arts, to mention a few.

There are four types of hormones, the first is the hormone of reward, which I activate by doing some manual work for myself, I activate the Venusian energies on my fingertips, as well as through tasting, this is DOPAMINE. The presence of this hormone manifests in how much I love myself. How much I can accept myself. How independent I am.

It is admiring the beauty of life which brings the second hormone to life, when I simply enjoy existence, I let nature's powers have their effect on me, sunshine, nature, the arts, the beauty of people. I praise, I flirt and with my smile, I make other people smile as well. Receiving life, passivity, manifesting in word at most, this is serotonin. How much I let the beauty of the world have an effect on me. When it is lacking, I see the world as ugly, I am looking for the fault in everything. How much I can accept things. I hear, see, sense, accept the external influences.

The third hormone is oxytocin, which is the hormone of romantic love and love, and the creator, the regulator of our bonds with others. Our attitude towards animals depends on the quantity of this hormone. How much I love others, particular persons, animals. How much I can accept the other person. What the quality of my relationships is. How much I can selflessly look after someone.

The fourth hormone shows what my attitude towards the world is like, how much I can resonate together with it, how much I can laugh together, fight together, effect and countereffect on crowds, the joy of existence. The sense of unity. We create something together for the joy of others. The joy of creation. The energy of "We are the World". Painkiller for body and soul alike. Manifestation: how much I love the universe. How much can I accept the world. With what do I contribute to the beauty of the world. In a separate article, this is ENDORPHIN.

I think that PHEROMONE also spurs one to be happy, but I will detail it in a separate writing. There are activities with which all the four hormones can be activated, can be made to glow, only the right direction of circulation must be applied.

What we need to make conscious is that hormones do not make an exception depending on who has what type of stature, what one's outward appearance is like. Beauty does not mean that the individual has more Venusian hormones, there are a lot of unhappy beauties. However, when someone is bursting with happiness hormones, the representatives of both sexes will find them attractive. If it is simply good to be next to someone, if they electrify us, it means that pheromone is glowing from them, with which they blow up the happiness receptors of those around them. When we spontaneously are happy about the company of someone, it means that several ties have been generated between us on an energetic level, and the memory of happy moments re-starts the production automatically. The most common need is eating. If I prepare my own food, dopamine is created, if I eat something delicious in a restaurant, then serotonin, if I eat together with my partner, and meanwhile, I pour out his drink, he gives me the salt, we taste each other's food, then oxytocin is produced, and if I gift the meal I prepared to strangers, I donate to charity, then I strengthen endorphin. A cook of a restaurant cooks only as a matter of routine, no additional hormones are produced, but if she/he blesses the food, they do good for others with it, then in this case, endorphin is produced. The more people they do good for, the more endorphin is produced, and the more endoprhin is produced, the greater their wish will be to help others. It is simple as that. If we want a more beautiful world, then we should not expect it from others, but do for it instead.

Hands are always at hand. The meeting of the fingertips with any naked area of the surface of the body, the caressing, massaging movements, revive happiness hormones. If I massage myself, dopamine is produced, if I use a massage machine, a massage armchair, and I surrender to pleasures this way, then serotonin, if I am massaged by one of my loved ones, or I massage someone whom I love, oxytocin, and if I massage a stranger to help them, endorphin is released.

When I simply tap the rhythm with my fingers, I am humming, I am rocking to the beat, then dopamine is made. When I let music make me move either in my mind, or in reality, I dance with the music, then serotonin. When I dance with my partner, even against the rhythm, the music determines only the style, but the emphasis is on touching each other primarily, we are occupied with each other, then oxytocin, and if I perform a coreography, so that others could admire the sight, then the production of endorphin starts up.

If I am already on the subject of music, when I practise, I do something for myself, dopamine, when I improvise on the musical instrument, I let the sounds have an effect on me, serotonin, when I play music with others, oxytocin, and when I play so that others will enjoy my music, then endorphin is released.

The same is with singing, but attention, when someone is out of tune, they take more energy away from the listeners than what would be appropriate.

I hope the essential difference of the hormones is already clear this way.

I do for myself-I let the things have an effect on me, or I am the speactator of events-I do it with others-I do it so that it will benefit others, so that others will watch, enjoy what I am doing.

The point is to please myself, reward myself, dopamine-I surrender with joy, I am happy with it-serotonin, we are happy with one another, we play together, lost in the process-oxytocin, we laugh together, cheer, create to please others and so that others will be happy-endorphin.

When I inadvertently give out a sigh at the feeling of satisfaction, the feeling of satiety, then my body signals that the production of dopamine has started. We sigh, we breathe out the air when we finished a difficult work.

When warmth spreads in our my chest, I blush hearing a compliment, serotonin has glown up. I forget to close my mouth, my breathing stops seeing an artistic creation, a natural phenomenon, these are also the physical minifestations of serotonin's glowing up.

If I feel touched, my voice fades, my eyes tear up, I feel hot everywhere in my body, I feel like hugging someone, I am moved, then oxytocin has got fired up. As If I was drunk, I sweat, my stomach is quivering, the feeling of intoxicating love, the shot of oxytocin.

When I give out a cry involuntarily, I start screaming, bravoing, clapping losing myself in it, I laugh together with others, or I start shivering pleasantly, then my body has been overflown with endorphin.

The moment of orgasm, when my soul unites with the other's, the moment of becoming perfectly one, is the most powerful creation energy, the biggest endorphin dose. Unfortunately, few reach this level, even though this can be learnt as well.

Each hormone is important, one can live without them but why should they.

One does not have to circulate them at the same time, but balance must be present.

Attention! The surplus of one hormone does not replace the deficiency of another one!

It is like the four legs of a chair. If there is only one, we cannot sit on it, or it must be fixed to the floor, but then we will be the prisoners of the chair, and not the chair will serve us. If it is standing on two legs, we can sit on it, but it will not hold us. A chair of three legs might be able to support our weight, but we must not lean on it because it will tip over. If the length of the legs is not the same, we will simply either slip down from it, or we will keep falling out of balance. One can sit stably only on equally long legs. If one leg is shorter, if there is less of one of the hormones, supplement it.

The solution that we rather shorten the rest of the legs of the chair, we all know and we are practising incessantly.

I block my hormone production when I belittle myself, when I let others treat me unfairly, when my partner hurt me emotionally and so I hurt them back, when I keep scolding, criticising society, the leaders of the country.

Noone will be happier if they project their own unhappiness to others. With swearing, scolding, resentment, I change the direction of joy hormones and I will get worse and worse.

I find it very painful when people I like, post about negative, malevolent things which humiliate others, because with this, they not only pollute themselves, but everyone else as well who sees their share.

We see the world as and from what the legs of our chair are like. If they are low, then we see everything as muddy, everything is covered up with dust, animal faeces. If it fluctuates, we see hardly anything of the world, because we are busy trying to stay in balance with ourselves, we do not have any energy left to be interested in the events of the world. If our chair is high, then we can rise above things, we see the connections, we can be in unity with the whole world. Is not this feeling better than those above? It is time for us to set the legs of our chair higher, and rise above our own limitations. Let us take the direction of our own life over, let us take our own happiness back. Let us follow the example of mountaineers!

Let us set a goal, an obstacle, which we want to conquer. First tune into it, recharge yourself with it, as when the mountaineer is sizing up the peak with tender loving care, the thought that it is what I want to reach, fills me with pleasant warmth. WIth this, serotonin glows up. Then we leave for the finish. At the more difficult parts, we involuntarily give out a sigh, if we manage to pass it. Overcoming a difficulty produces dopamine, and this gives strength to continue, it inspires us to perform better. A few deep breaths, sighs help us conquer the resistance in us. The mountaineer, while looking for the proper grip, is getting to know the mountain, they get in contact with it, the bond develops between the mountain and the mountaineer, and the production of oxytocin starts. A bond can develop with anything when we associate it with tender emotions. This is why it is difficult to let go of certain objects. (As a side note, I tell you a secret. I cherish a deep soulful connection with our cherry tree. Yes! It has been holding my hanging chair for years, and my best thoughts come when I am rocking in its shadow. I always tap it, and in the winter months, when I am not in the garden, I admire it at least through the window, and I even greet it regularly. A bond has developed between me and the cherry tree, when I hear the word "cherry", the bond between the tree and me starts resonating at once, and my happiness hormones glow up.) For a long time, I did not understand why certain people want to climb the very same mountain again and again. Now I do understand already, it is because of the bond which has developed, which loads oxytocin. I think when a mountaineer reaches the top, that can be a fantastic feeling, a bit like the "I am the lord of the world" feeling. The same thrill of victory as a world record. And by the way, being really on one of the tops of the world, what would give reason for endorphin to start up if not this?

It would be good if everyone found what the top means in their own world, and instead of complaining, criticizing, the activation of hormones must be the goal.

For it, first we must make it conscious what the situation is with our own hormones.

If we do not like donating, it does not mean that our endorphin is okay, but that there is a lack of it. If our environment is messy, then there is not enough dopamine in stock, and I do not miss it, either, I am not motivated, because I have given myself up to helplessness.

The hormone is there in us, but if we do not take care of it, it is not produced. As when the pantry is full of tinned food, but we cannot eat them if we do not open them because we lost the can opener. The fragrant, expensive perfume is in vain, we cannot enjoy it if we never open it. Those who give themselves over to others all the time, make themselves vulnerable to them, suffer from a serious lack of love. If their entourage paid a little more attention to them, if they listened to them, accepted them, motivated them, and did not make them feel how tiring it is to be with them, if they received encouragement instead of chiding, it would be better for everyone.

Hormones work the same way as muscles. If I tied down my arm and did not use it for a few months, then, when the bandage is taken off, the tissue would be spectacularly looser, the muscles would be less, and I would not be able to lift anything. The more we are lying, the lazier our muscles will become, and the less we are capable of doing.

Hormones are the same, only they can be activated in more diverse ways. Those who go to the gym regularly, and no matter which branch of sports they choose; observe how satisfied a face the "sportsmen" are leaving with!

Stimulating back and forth works. I remember how good a feeling it was to grasp the rods, weights, even more in fitness gloves. By now, I know that by stimulating the finger tips, with the awareness that I did it for myself, I started up dopamine. I regarded the pass as some kind of a reward I deserved. Due to exercising hard, a lot of hormones started to be active, which I desired more and more, and more and more movement I needed-well, this is what I want to bring back. In fitness studios, it is also stimulating to see the beautiful bodies, and we use what we see as motivation that we want to be the same, instead of being envious. I admire the sight, I am receptive and then serotonin starts up. With sports, not only blood circulation, metabolism will be faster, but the production of happiness hormones is quicker as well.

If we cannot get up, then first let us practise in our head. Let us watch videos where dances are taught, where they give a training session, and imagine that you are doing the exercises, too. Dance with those dancing. In our imagination, let us twist our hips, turn around and around, spin, bounce, lift our arms daintily, imitate the coreography in mind until our muscles also start moving involuntarily. As I receive the sight, I tune into it, my brain picks it up and sends impulses into my limbs. If I do this visual exercise regularly, if my body has recharged itself with the dynamics of the dance through the sight, then sooner or later it will move with it, it will want to realize what it had seen.

Let us see a few practical examples, how the surplus, the lack of each hormone manifests.

-For example, a person suffering from oxytocin surplus and dopamine deficiency has a tendency for jealousy, tyranny towards their partner, they want to regulate the other person all the time. They keep checking their every activity.

-I do charity regulary, I give to the world in vain if I do not like myself, then I will be unhappy.

-If someone has a lot of dopamine, serotonin and endorphin, they are a socialite, but they will be incapable of a romantic relationship, what is more, they often fall in the trap of pride.

-A lot of dopamine and serotonin predisposes one to narcissistic actions.

-Much serotonin, a seemingly cheerful, happy person, they smile at everyone, but due to the lack of self-love, of dopamine, they praise while criticizing, due to the lack of oxytocin, their relationship will not be lasting, they comfort while they are lecturing, and without the sense of unity, they want to force their own limitations on everyone. They want to gain energy from others by making them feel guilty. They pray, they meditate in vain, they cannot form a unity with their fellow human beings, because they see only their own example. They are the real energy vampires. Theoretically, they tune in to someone, but given that their other hormones are turning in the destructive direction, they are sucking away energy from those with whom they are talking. This is how the saying came about, if you do not love yourself, you will not be able to love others, either, or you will want to possess them-oxytocin surplus, or direct them-endorphin surplus, or you just use them as sources of energy-serotonin surplus. Those who inspire others, have a surplus of endorphin. Others can take from their energy while they do not even notice that they are giving of themselves. They are people blessed with beauty, a pure soul and selflessness. If they do not have the other shades of the hormones, however, they are just as unhappy as those who have a lack of all of them.

Serotonin is needed also to be able to understand the other person. If we give advice to someone, without serotonin, it will only be lecturing, and again a sucking out of energy, energy vampirism takes place. In the case of many who are sharing their unasked for opinions, it is the other person's attention, the other's energy which they need, they are not motivated by the intention to help. They are full of dopamine and they want more, they believe that this is happiness. This is what most of the so-called vacuum cleaner agents, multilevel marketing agents are like. If we give advice to someone but we do not have serotonin, then we only project our expectations onto the other person.

We can possess a lot of endorphin to share which we want to flow out by giving gifts to others, it is in vain if serotonin is missing to be able to feel, to tune into what the other person needs, or if dopamine is missing, our self-love, and so we expect the other person to raise our self-confidence by saying thanks again and again to us for the present.

Furthermore, if the other also lacks dopamine, they cannot accept, they do not feel that they deserve it, then we will only find ourselves in an embarrassing scene, rejected, no matter how much good intention or love was behind either the present or the advice. What is more, if our level of oxytocin is higher than that of the party receiving the gift, they will experience the gesture as manipulation.

The state of gratefulness is all right, because this is the highest frequency together with the all-fixing energy, forgiveness. But I do not give presents because I would expect others to feel this towards me, but because, in a selfish way, I want to experience it. I give presents out of gratefulness, to thank something, or to say sorry with it. I am happy if I see that my present has brought joy, if I see that it is useful, that the individual puts it on themselves, they hug it. For me, these are the moments of perfect happiness. If it does not work out for some reason, if I cannot recharge myself by giving gifts, then I give some snack to the dogs at least, they can be pleased with anything.

If we have a lot to share, then let us find someone whose levels of dopamine and oxytocin are high. For them, nothing will be enough. It is enough to miss giving a like to one of their posts, or not react enthusiastically to their puns, they become upset at once and one can start thinking about what gift we will be able to, what is more, will have to conciliate them with.

I hope it has become clearer why it matters where we stand with the tiny warriors of love, why it matters when we send the infantry into battle, when the motorised unit, when the cavalry, and when the unit of planes. Infantry-I will have to do it. Motors-I let it enchant me, so that energy will lead me. Cavalry-it is efficient only if we cooperate. Planes-I look at things from above, and I do it for a higher good-think of spraying planes, touristic planes, planes throwing out balloons, planes pulling love messages, not war planes.

And if war planes... Too much endorphin can knock things down, let us think of a Newfoundland dog running towards us happily who wants to love us at all cost. Not everyone is able to accept such an inundation of love without preparation. We always have to consider how much love we give to whom, because if our efforts are in vain, then because of the disappointment, we will stop the production of our happiness hormones for a long time. It is not worth it!

I always say that there are four ways to bring new information into our body, our system.

The 1st is orally, that is, when we take it in through the mouth, or through the sense of smell, with food, diatery supplements, herbs, or flowers, aroma therapy. Which hormone we can nourish with what, I will detail in the following presentations.

The 2nd when we do something for ourselves on the physical plane, there is some physical influence on us. Moving the body, massage, movement therapy, manualtherapy.

The 3rd, the energetic way. Sunshine, meditation, light therapy, music therapy, laughter therapy, magnetic treatments.

And the 4th, which I think is the most important, the mental understanding. If someone listened to, read only this discussion, they have already started their way on the road of positive changes, but if they really want some more serious change, then regular stress release is very important. If not only we want to be happier but we want to be able to make others happy. Those people's help comes handy who notice also what we do not know by ourselves, or what we do not want to see...

I hope you have found this knowledge useful and with this, you have already brought my level of endorphin to level, but what would make me really happy is if you listened to, read and applied the following parts as well.

My intention is not to raise future gurus or spiritual grandmasters. Primarily, I want to help those who want to be a better person, and to whom the quality of life of their loved ones is important.