LEA

HAPPINESS BAROMETER

“They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world:

someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.”

Tom Bodett

THE RATIO OF OUR DENIALS TO OUR AGREEMENTS

It happens more and more often in my work that my clients ask when they will find happiness. In such cases, the angels usually answer, and what prevents you from being happy even right now?

For a long time, I did not exactly understand the meaning of these words either, but it is becoming clearer and clearer to me. I also got where the saying came from, God helps those who help themselves.

Few people know that happiness is not a mystical utopia, not some luxury item that is given to only a few. Everyone received an equal seat at the table of happiness, but over time, we lost the invitation with the precise instructions, and now we cannot find where to sit. Happiness should not be sought outside, but developed within us. We have inherited the right to happiness on the DNA line, but somehow what we create and what we expect from the outside world to give us got tangled up.

When I was a child, I was often surprised that when someone was asked whether they had a good time somewhere, the individual answered, no, the company was bad, or the music was not good, and so on. I did not understand why externals had to be appropriate so that someone would have a good time. It is I who decides to feel good, not the external circumstances. When we lived in Bratislava with my sister, it was widely known that when we, too, were there in a disco, then the party already started at 9 p.m. even if only the two of us and 1-2 of our friends were there. When we were not there, people started dancing only about 11 p.m.

We never waited for others to create an atmosphere, we felt good just by ourselves.

Happiness has been given to everyone independently of external circumstances. We can see it in films that there are many rich people who are unhappy, people living at the sea can be depressed as well. Those who have been to Cuba, relate one after the other that even though poverty is enormous, but people are very cheerful. They are dancing, joking, smiling all the time. The fact that they do not have money is not a reason for them not to feel good in their own skin.

Let us look at the world of celebs. For most of them, not even reaching the so much sought after fame, getting on front pages, have brought happiness. The arrogant behaviour of most is proof that they are unhappy. The same is true for politicians. The haughty gestures, the condescending behaviour, the opposing defiant behaviour, the constant protesting are all signs that they are unhappy. A happy person is happy when he/she can see everyone happy, they do not take measures which would limit and sadden others. We cannot be the saviours of every politician, or every haughty, or even unhappy person. Everyone is responsible for their own happiness. What is our own responsibility, our own obligation, however, is to examine ourselves how conscious we are in the circulation of our happiness hormones. How we react to what, depends on the level our happiness hormones. How we act, influences the production of our happiness hormones. Everyone is the director of her/his own happiness. External factors only help us recognize where we are with regard to happiness hormones. The following test helps us recognize in ourselves how we could do more to feel good in our skin. In my writing, “The degrees of stress”, I write about why stressed-out people cannot hear positive advice, so now, I approach things from the perspective of the sexes. I make us face what it is we do not like doing. The number of our agreements is linearly proportional to the level of the particular happiness hormone. Count how many statements you agree with, the result will be at the end.

Let us see then!

DOPAMINE-The joy felt during a work done, the joy of moving our own bodies.

I do not like menial work.

I do not usually cook, I do not like to, and furthermore, I cannot.

I do not do sports.

I do not like it when certain do not understand what they must do.

I do not keep order in my flat.

I do not like it when someone is hesitating, wasting time.

I do not like to wash my teeth regularly.

I do not like to have a bath, I rather have a quick shower.

I do not like different meals, I eat one-sidedly.

I do not care about my appearance, I do not care how I look.

I do not like grooming myself, I think it is superfluous finery.

I refuse to clean up others’ faeces, let it be human or animal.

I do not like working with the earth.

I cannot stand when someone drives like an idiot, and I do express my opinion.

I cannot stop myself from making remarks when someone is disorderly.

I cannot tolerate it when someone is drinking alcohol or doing drugs near me.

I will not let it go unsaid if someone does not do what I think they should do.

I cannot stand lazy people, I keep pushing them all the time.

I cannot stop myself from shouting when I am surrounded by stupid people.

I do not like being accused of procrastination.

I am not healthy, I always have some health problem.

If you agree with most of the statements, then DOPAMINE is not produced properly. With every swear word, no matter whether we utter it, or we are in the company of someone using foul language, we stop the production of this happiness hormone. Because this hormone also regulates what it is we deserve, how much we deserve of good things, it also determines our financial situation, the quantity of rewards we can attract in. How much our salary is, indicates how satisfied we are with our work. If we do not value our activity, if we do not do it with joy, then our level of dopamine decreases, just like our income. And it is true conversely as well. If our dopamine level is low, we do not feel like doing physical work, we do not feel like going to work, we do not feel like starting something new, looking for a new job, go out of our home. When we call someone to account, we make mean remarks to them, we criticize them, we stop the production of dopamine in the person towards whom we expressed ourselves, but we also reduce our own energy with it.

IS IT WORTH IT???

Dopamine is the carrier vehicle of Mars-male energies. Without it, we do not have the strength to recover from an illness, we do not have the strength to start something new.

Energetically, man’s task is protection, the creation of material security. A man should be strong. Many men whose hormonal equilibrium has become imbalanced, interpret it that they must be stronger from their own partner, and they realize it by making derogative remarks to her, by talking down to her, possibly by abusing her, they depress the woman’s dopamine production and by it, they get above the woman. Such a man feels happy if he can prove that he is the stronger one.

Verbal abuse is equal to physical abuse. The main attribute of unhappy and weak men.

In the case of these gentlemen, first and foremost dopamine and serotonin must be increased, which only a woman can correct with the circulation of oxytocin. All this how, I write about in detail in my articles on each hormone.

In any case, Ladies, if you keep focussing on gentlemen’s shortcomings, and you keep count of them, keep mentioning them again and again all the time, then men will never be able to move out of the lack of happiness hormones. Unbridled male power can be bridled only by the woman’s accepting, gentle energy.

Praise, encouragement, small presents help our fellow human to find himself, and so that the hormone directing life-sustaining instincts will start up. Intense movement, manual work starts up dopamine production, we can begin it even right now. Did you know, my dear Reader, that a 10-minute walk starts up creative thinking, a 15-minute walk after a meal regulates the level of blood sugar, and that a 90-minute walk reduces the chance of one’s developing depression?

SEROTONIN-the ability to admire nature, beauty, the arts, the creator of reception, acceptance

I do not like to go on excursions, to admire nature.

I do not like listening to classical music.

I cannot appreciate painting, beautiful buildings, statues.

I do not like modern musical genres.

I do not like reading.

I do not like listening to others’ stories, I take them as complaints.

I cannot watch a serious film from beginning to end.

I do not like others’ giving me advice.

I do not usually accept others’ help.

I do not like sun-bathing.

I cannot stand the cold.

I do not like it when others praise my appearance.

I do not like wearing fashionable clothing.

I cannot stand seeing someone unkempt.

I cannot accept it if someone’s political views differ from mine.

I do not care about rules, I live according to my own law.

I cannot stand the draught.

I cannot forgive those who have offended me.

I do not see why it is a problem if I tell everyone my opinion.

I cannot stand slovenliness and I tell everyone at once if they look bad.

I do not like wearing a uniform or work clothes.

I cannot stand being lied to.

I do not believe either in God, or other beings.

I do not follow traffic laws.

I do not like it when a homeless person sits next to me.

If you mostly agree with the above statements, then you are deficient in the happiness hormone SEROTONIN. This hormone’s task is to make us ACCEPTING. Alcohol temporarily helps start up the production of this hormone, but more and more will be needed of it to reach the particular level of happiness. When we criticize others’ appearance, when we cannot accept our own outlook, we always stop the production of this hormone. I noticed already at a very young age how sour, ugly people theatre and literary critics often are, frequently with a speech impediment. I also wrote a few pieces of film criticism, but when I used negative words, I almost immediately got a stomach ache. I felt that I was doing something very bad, so I ended this activity. Because of my sensitivity, unfortunately, I sense at once when someone says something bad about me, criticizes me, no matter how far they are from me. It is difficult then to get over the bad mood which they cause me. On the other hand, I am grateful for it because this way I understood that with negative communication, we stop the production of serotonin in the criticized person, who therefore will commit even more mistakes. The fact itself that we are criticizing, is a warning that we are not accepting, that our level of serotonin is low!!! We should not take it even lower, because it only exacerbates our unhappiness. It is a well-known fact that when someone takes revenge, they will not be happier because of it. In my writings about happiness hormones, I also write in detail about how one can start up serotonin. Anyway, just do the opposite of what I have enumerated in this part.

Those whose serotonin level is low, are looking for the shortcomings in everything. Those who have a lot, find the beautiful in everything, even in those who criticize her/him. The person who wants to help, gives us advice how we can be more beautiful, better, more effective. Never let anyone push down your level of serotonin with their derogative remarks! Smile! With that, we let the other individual know that we are all right and that the error is in their system. The smile is the surest sign that the level of serotonin is at its maximum. If we keep smiling steadily, we start up its production in others as well. If someone does not smile back, do not worry about it, that means only that he/she has a big a deficiency of this happiness hormone and they need a little more smiling for it to start up.

Let us be as Terence Hill is in his punchy films. It does not matter how outnumbered he is, he is always smiling, and he always wins.

When we are constantly arguing with our family, our friends, our workplace is the scene of constant conflicts, it is the most obvious sign that our serotonin level is very low. Serotonin helps us accept events, and we experience debates not as problems, but as challenges, opportunities for growth.

Over-sensitivity, when we take everything to heart, when we have a tendency to become offended by everything, that is also a sign that we are suffering from a chronic deficiency of this hormone.

It is time for us to change our reactions. Let us smile! No matter what happens, anyone can make mean remarks, without exception each one is a good occasion for us to practise smiling. Practise until smiling for us will be just as natural as we open our eyes in the morning.

OXYTOCIN

I do not like hugging.

I do not like giving kisses.

I do not like it when animals brush themselves to me.

I do not like family gatherings.

I do not like going on excursions with my parents.

I do not like eating together with strangers.

I do not like it when people offer me food or a drink at an unknown place.

I do not like to be touched by a stranger.

I do not like sleeping in the same bed with others.

I do not like it when someone reaches their hand to me to help.

I do not like it when someone touches me when they want me to pay attention to them.

I do not like walking hand in hand with my partner, or a child.

I do not like to be celebrated when it is my birthday.

I do not like it when my family celebrate me.

I do not like it when strangers come to our house during holidays.

I am not willing to eat from one bowl with my loved ones.

I do not like cooking for my loved ones.

I am not able to take care of my loved ones when they are ill.

I do not like saving animals.

I do not have any animal.

I do not like women who keep cats instead of raising children.

I am not willing to pet animals.

I would not be able to work as a nurse.

I cannot stand homosexual relationships, it should be banned.

Agreeing with the “no” answers indicates the lack of OXYTOCIN. This hormone shows our attachment to our loved ones, and what our attitude is towards animals…

Those who have too much of it, and the other hormones are almost nonextant, that leads to jealousy. We want to almost possess the other person, let it be a partner, a child, an animal. The lack of this hormone, or when it is at a low level, shows in our human relationships, and in our negative attitude towards animals. This hormone is the basis of happy or unhappy relationships. When it is at a low level, we are unable to form a well-functioning, long-lasting relationship. Every time we blackmail emotionally, every time we reject our loved ones, always when we deflect a kiss, a hug, we stop the production of oxytocin in the other person. Pride and indifference are the antidotes of oxytocin. It is us who decide whether we nourish or ruin our relationships. Whether we raise the level of oxytocin or decrease it. Whether we build a happy, uplifting relationship, or we destroy it, and with it, ourselves as well. Our relatives are the pillars of our happiness. We can decide whether we lean on them or reject them. Without foundation, it is impossible to build a stable house, but one can try. The option to boost oxytocin is in there in everyone, it only needs to be started up.

Cooking for our loved ones is the simplest way to start up oxytocin. When we prepare the meal with love…

Cooking, the possibility of nourishing others, is a privilege with which fate has blessed women. Of course, men can cook as well, raise children, but energetically it is not the same. The difference between a male and a female cook is that women can circulate oxytocin with the food they prepared, while men, cannot. According to the present science, only women can produce this hormone, men have only as much as they get from their mother or their girlfriend. Many think how lucky a woman is whose husband loves cooking. I think it is a catastrophe. If a woman does not cook, it means that oxytocin is not circulated, and the relationship is based on possession and not on mutual trust. Cooking is the biggest possible magic with which we can cook our happiness. When the meal is ready, and we smell it, the production of dopamine starts up because of the work well done. If we find it beautiful, the sight which pleases our eyes, when we see the smile on the others’ faces, or that they like the food, that starts the functioning of serotonin. A meal consumed together either with our partner, or with our family at one table, is the most powerful way for the production of oxytocin to start. If we are telling happy stories in the meantime, we are joking, we remember our memories together, the production of endorphin starts. Ladies, what are you waiting for? The woman is the basis of the happiness of the family, the harmony of the family. I hope it is already clear by now why. If a woman is always complaining because she has to care for, cook for her family, with her negative attitude, she stops the production of serotonin, so the food will get burnt, or will be simply tasteless. Meals together will be the scene of debates, and everyone will go out with their food. Ladies who refuse to cook are complaining all the time that they cannot manage their children and their partner. Of course, they are not willing to admit that it has been them who wrecked things. Everyone is at fault, they are victims. The woman who cannot cook, does not want to cook, creates constant arguments and unhappiness around her.

I have several acquaintances who travel a lot for work. They admitted that it feels a lot better to eat the bread their partner, mother, or sister has buttered for them than the bread they would make themselves or buy in the shop. They have come to understand that oxytocin, the bond of love, can be transmitted through food as well. It is like a hug from far away. Too bad women in the great emancipation forgot that! In parentheses, I note that oxytocin also depends on oestrogen levels, and there are men who can produce oxytocin, but that is a whole other subject.

By the way, the lack of oxytocin causes also when someone does not let others take care of him/her.

Even science has already established that when someone hugs you, oxytocin production is triggered, and the levels of the stress hormone cortisol drop. Of course, if we refuse the hug, it has the opposite effect. We shut down the happiness hormone and increase the level of the stress hormone.

This is what happens every time we refuse someone's offer of food or drink. We also destroy the bond with the other person. A bite has never killed anyone yet, and at most, ask for a glass of water, which is never enough for the body.

When we refuse the help of others, when we do not accept the gift, when we refuse eating together with our loved ones, when we are not willing to talk, cooperate with the members of our family, when we refuse to talk with our loved ones because we want to punish them this way, we punish ourselves the most actually. We cannot separate from our family, the ties remain there forever. If we regularly stop the production of oxytocin in the ways previously mentioned, let us not wonder if nothing works around us. As I mentioned, family is the pillar that holds together, and its central element is the woman. The mother can produce oxytocin, and as she circulates it towards her loved ones, is what familial harmony, familial peace is based upon.

The family is in big trouble where the mother is not able to do this. The woman who wants a family, but it does not happen, must not blame the world for it, but she should look inside her instead to see to what extent she can circulate happiness hormones.

When a woman’s level of oxytocin is low, she is not able to conceive. If the low oxytocin is coupled with low serotonin, then she does not want to have a child, either. She concentrates only on herself, she cannot take responsibility for another person.

An example of the over-functioning of oxytocin is Roma families. They are many in a small place, so the continual physical proximity ensures the high level of this hormone, so there are always births.

If someone cannot arrange their family relationships, cannot adapt to others, then temporarily, having pets can be a solution. This works only when they can make sacrifices for another being to 100 percent. In addition to feeding, caressing them, tidying up after them, cleaning up faeces without complaining. These activities can start up the production of oxytocin. All these bring a surplus of oxytocin only when they live together with the animal, they let the animal cuddle up to them.

As I mentioned, according to science, men do not produce oxytocin, so it is up to the ladies to do it for them. That is why it is said that women are responsible for family harmony. If a woman can get oxytocin flowing, then the relationship is balanced, regardless of the nature of the man.

Ladies, by complaining you are destroying even the weak thread that still binds you to your partner. Would not it be more useful to understand what it is to be a woman and finally live a woman's life? No matter how modern society is, the chemistry of man and its laws will not change.

ENDORPHIN is the joy of vibrating together, of sharing with others, of common experiences.

I do not like dancing.

I do not like going to sporting events.

I do not watch the Olympic openings.

I do not care about national holidays, I do not participate in their celebrations.

I am not touched by singing the national anthem together.

I do not like big weddings.

I do not like Christmas.

I do not like going to church.

I do not participate in any community, free work.

I do not help strangers on the street.

I do not donate to any charity.

I do not let anyone in front of me in a line.

I do not help the elderly.

I do not like being asked for favours.

I do not like working in a team.

I do not like doing things I do not see the point of.

I do not buy gifts for anyone spontaneously, for no reason.

I do not stand up for good causes.

I do not stand up for others when I see injustice done to them.

I do not like going to the theatre.

I do not like going to concerts.

I do not like going to balls.

I do not like dressing up.

I do not like to wear black clothes in mourning.

Endorphin is the hormone of community, when happiness means that we are doing something together with others. When we create things together, when we reach successes together. Celebrating together is very important. Politicians know this very well, too, how important it is to entertain people. “Panem et circenses”, "Bread and circus" to the people, the Romans kept saying already well before Christ.

Eating together starts up dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin at the same time, and cheerfulness, endorphin. When the people is happy at a campaign event, then who cares about the program of the particular party. Whenever the party’s name comes up, in those who felt good at the event, the mention of the name of the party, the memory of the happy minutes start resonating, and they will not even hear the criticism concerning the party, they will even come to grips for them.

This is what endorphin does. When someone helps its production, for them, the individual would be able to do anything.

Let us see the fans of different sporting branches! The more joy they get from the victory of their team, the more fanatically they will follow them anywhere. Even if they fall back at times, the memory of the good times, especially when also consuming some liquid, is enough for them to set off. They want to relive again and again, or at least remember the good old days. It matters whether we watch a match on TV or we are there in person! Through the screen, the level of serotonin is increased, on the auditorium, cheering together with the others, that is real happiness. When someone tasted it once, it is difficult to come off it.

Consuming a cold drink reduces the level of stress hormones, the production of cortisol fades. Alcohol increases the acceptance-helping serotonin. When they keep tapping one another on the shoulder, they are hugging, touching one another, it starts up the production of oxytocin. Chanting rhymes is like some religious ritual, and creates the trans state, and with singing together, endorphin starts up at rocket speed. It is a happiness bomb an outsider cannot understand.

That is why some people go into ecstasy at rock concerts, or at worship services where there are a lot of people singing together, because the crowd creates a stronger vibration, a greater "love" energy. The same applies to theatre or classical music concert experiences. It is one thing to see it through a screen and another to see it live. The audience is just as much a part of the performance. Without the applause, the laughter, the ovation, the performance of the actors and dancers would not be the same, either. Performers are doped by the audience, only together do they create the euphoria that is the sign of a surge in endorphin levels.

I could write a lot, but I do not want to repeat myself, if you are interested, read my article on endorphins.

One more very important thing! Dressing for the occasion! Not an invention of Louis XIV, and not superfluous accoutrements! When we dress to celebrate, we are also preparing our souls for the occasion. Sportswear for a sporting event, perhaps in team colours, black for a funeral, elegant for the theatre, and ball-gown or evening gown for a ball. The clothes are a sign that we vibrate with the others. We resonate with the situation, we play as a team. Wearing the cockade with the colours of the Hungarian flag signifies belonging together, especially for Hungarians living beyond the border. We weep during the anthem because it is a time when our souls are contiguous to one another with those of all the Hungarians who have gone before us and who are still to be born. The anthem connects us with our loved ones, both deceased and far away. People who do not cry during the anthem have very low endorphin levels. He/she cannot empathize with the nation.

This very same compassion is missing in those who do not regularly donate, who do not participate in voluntary work.

However, everyone can experience it any time when they help someone, when they are polite to someone, when they do a favour.

I know it is very difficult to distinguish between coveting something that a friend has and being envious of it, but anyhow, it is better to know that DESIRE is a lower, destructive energy and envy stops endorphin production. It is an energy that pulls one back either way.

I recently received a question about someone who loves going to sports games but is not a giver, who does not go to any cultural events or balls, and does not help just because.

This article is about how the happiness hormones work, not about human nature. How we behave depends on the ratio of neurotransmitters as well, and that is still under observation on my part. In a case such as the one just mentioned, ambition plays a role, too. If someone's dopamine levels are already too high, they need an audience. In such cases, the person can experience euphoria only at events where she or he can be the star. I am very fascinated by the study of human nature, how our reactions depend on our chemistry. For me, each emotion has a specific smell. Fear’s is one, anger’s another, and the previously mentioned ambition’s is yet another. This smell is also present when I hear someone just talking or hear their voice on the phone.

At the beginning, I wrote that this material is based on our rejections and denials related to happiness, so I will summarize it at the end.

SWEARING, CALLING TO ACCOUNT, LAZING ABOUT, PROCRASTINATING STOPS DOPAMINE PRODUCTION!

WHEN WE CRITICISE, GOSSIP, IF WE CANNOT APPRECIATE ART, DO NOT LOVE NATURE, THE PRODUCTION OF SEROTONIN STOPS!

PRIDE, COMPLAINING, REJECTION TOWARDS OUR LOVED ONES, SULLEN DEFIANCE STOPS OXYTOCIN PRODUCTION!

LYING, ENVY, AVOIDING COMMUNITY PROGRAMS, REFUSING HELP TO OTHERS STOP THE PRODUCTION OF ENDORPHINS!

IS IT WORTH IT???

And an additive, the pheromone, the happiness that comes from physical pleasure.

I do not have a sex life.

I do not like being complimented.

I do not like to see other people's intimacy…

I do not like seeing someone sexually desire me.

I do not like it when others see my being attracted to someone.

Science always researches what it is paid for, and it discusses and explains the area to be researched as the client wishes.

No one pays me for this. I offer my writings to the world for free. My boss's primary concern is clear vision, there is no business interest, so I write about what I perceive with my psychic abilities. It has happened several times that what I wrote did not agree with the views of the scientific world, but within a few years, the scientific position tended in the direction that I perceived.

I will write about pheromone in more detail. Here I will just say that it is the spark that ignites the other person, the opposite sex, and sometimes even your own sex.

It is independent of physical appearance. The one who has it in abundance has many who court them. Those who do not have it, have no desire for a sexual relationship. It often causes a problem for those who have been living together for many years if they do not have the same change in pheromone levels.

Most of the time, this hormone decreases because the other happiness hormones are not being produced. Making sure that all four of the above mentioned hormones are working optimally, is certain to trigger the production of pheromone as well.

The reverse is also true. Sexual intercourse can trigger the production of all hormones, but only if it lasts at least half an hour and both partners are satisfied. However, in the long run, just having sex literally burns up the other hormones. It is not the number of acts that determines the quality, but it is the quality of the acts that triggers the hormones. When we make sure it is special. I mentioned the meaning of cooking, of dressing for the occasion. The place is also important, to have a program together beforehand, to harmonise, to resonate together.

It is possible to live without pheromones because there are many lonely people, there are still many nuns, monks who live in celibacy, they have chosen to be celibate and they can still live a full life, and they may even be happier than many people in relationships.

Sex is nothing more or less than other activities. Pheromone is neither more important nor less valuable than the other hormones that cause happiness.

Many men who have an overabundance of dopamine, but in whom the other hormones are not there, experience sex as a reward for their wonderful masculinity every time they feel like it. He sees any woman who flows pheromones as prey. He perceives that if a woman is dressed nicely, it means she is open to his advances. Personally, I have experienced a lot of harassment from public figures who everyone thought were decent people. I dared not tell anyone because I would have been the only one left in shame. I put on a few kilos to protect myself, but that did not help. Fortunately, sexual harassers are now punished, but that is not the solution.

It must be understood that the problem with our fellow human beings who behave like monsters is that they are unhappy. There are already injections and medicines that can trigger the individual happiness hormones. Instead of judging, instead of creating a sense of guilt, instead of lying and self-deception, it is time to move for a better, happier existence.

As for me, I have learned to control pheromone, so I do not provoke unnecessarily, and at least it does not interfere with my work.

In any case, that particular unclouded happiness is only given if we realize that it does not depend on external circumstances, nor on physical appearance, but on how much we are willing to do for it.

Now let us look into the curved mirror!

My dear Reader, if you counted how many times you agreed with the statements, you would get an accurate result to what percentage you are unhappy!

If you do not like the result, you can do something about it.

Legyen a [leas.ws] a kezdõlapom!